The Ghost

This song describes a suicide attempt to free the host Self from his pain and hopelessness. Though he is not a junkie, his tormentor is, so he chooses a heroin overdose to send a message.

Lyrics:

I remember feeling no more pain

when the poison pushed into my vein

If I can register an entry once again

I'll finish off the rest of this balloon and then

I'll be a ghost of the man I was before

That ego dead - I may exist - but nothing more

My stride will carry this observer thru the door

Won't feel a thing for anyone no more


My body fought back, betrayed by me that way

I heaved but hadn't eaten anything all day

I remember I was thinking ... I won't need anymore

Passed out, fell down to my knees and slammed my head into the floor


I woke up two hours later - my body trying to fight the tar

There was nothing it could do, I'd already gone too far

I staggered to my bed, where I lay waiting for the end

I passed thru all the darkest dreams that I've ever been in


Everything was dead or dying - I was heading fast to hell

Poison flowed thru all my veins and oozed from every cell

Everything of beauty I had seen in all my days

was tortured and disfigured by my suicidal ways


I'm just a ghost of the man I was before

That ego's dead - I exist - but nothing more

My stride now carries this observer out the door

Don't feel a thing for anyone no more


I walked as in a dream for more than a couple of days

not sure if I'm alive or dead - alone and in a haze

I no longer felt connected to my body or my plight

An extended out of body trip with no return in sight


I promised her I'd never take my life because of her

Now I'm trying hard to go back to the way that things once were

Can't take this guilt for what I've done to those who care

Can I undo this is there hope for me somewhere?


What have I done? Is it too late? Am I dead?

I go thru all the motions but it seems all in my head

Can't shake this feeling I'm still laying on the floor

and the world isn't going to hear from me no more


I'm just a ghost of the man I was before

I may be dead - I may be not - but I'm not sure

I still go thru the motions in the hope that I will find

That I can feel again and it was all just in my mind


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